Day 3: One Of My Greatest Fears

Perhaps one of the many epiphanies that accompany growing up is looking back on the ‘devastating’ fears that hung like darkened, miserable clouds over our heads, and how silly those same fears seem today. In no particular order, at one point or another, I can recall the following fears signalling the end of everything:

• Failing my driver’s licence test (which happened – twice - and I survived)
• Not spending eternity with the person I was dating when I was 17
•  Unprepared Afrikaans ‘mondelings’
• Being separated from close friends at the start of a new school year, when new classes are chosen
• Falling flat on my face during phys-ed period
• Going to the high school that wasn’t as pretty as the one I wanted to go to (which I did)
• Having a fight with a close friend and promptly receiving the silent treatment
• Being called into a meeting at work by a superior (any superior, at any time; it can only mean the end of days)

These are the trivial fears that have ultimately seen me grow something mildly resembling a backbone, and they are fears which have altered my perception of what something to be feared actually is. Fear is no longer the petty stuff not working out. It’s something greater, something deep-rooted, something to be worked upon.

Now, to narrow it down to just one.

<eyes begin darting around the room frantically>

<starts contemplating whether tonight's dinner was actually flavourful enough>

<zones out almost entirely... but hey, this is my process>

Okay. One of my greatest fears would be… losing the health that I’m able to enjoy right now.

I have always had a few teaspoons of hypochondria running through my veins, but I find myself increasingly aware of how precious one’s health is. I have met or come into contact with several people, friends or otherwise, who are hampered in their goals or daily tasks because of ill health, and I am more aware than ever of the need to take measures to preserve mine.

A fast food junkie until about two or so years ago, I haven’t had a McDonald’s burger in months. More and more often, I spend money on salads instead of beef, something my younger self would have considered deplorable.

At gym, I no longer robotically make my way to the weights section – instead, I’ve gotten over the embarrassment of those odd, yoga-type poses for the benefits that stretching has realised.

YOGA CAT: A whisker closer to good health

My lifestyle is still far from a supremely healthy one, but the fear of my body not allowing me to go out there and do what I need and want to do has forced me to take those first few steps to a more balanced, happier and cognisant way of being, and I’d encourage anyone else to do the same.