8 Things I'll (Hopefully) Never Do Again

It’s been some time since I’ve written anything.

And to be honest, I feel pretty empty when I don’t have the time, energy or motivation to put words onto sheets of paper.

It’s been a mightily taxing week – a promotion at work brought with it new, and exciting challenges. But I almost forgot that the job I have, while important, isn’t as crucial as so many other aspects of my life.

A wonderful evening with family a few nights ago was just the ‘centering’ I needed after a whirlwind couple of days, and it got me thinking – one of the ultimate blessings that accompany growing older is being able to make better decisions based on past mistakes.

I’ve read a ton of quotes along the lines of ‘mistakes are building blocks to success’ blah blah blah. They annoyed me to no end because, for the most part, mistakes felt like nothing more than mistakes – they were stupid, unnecessary, misguided and put me several steps back from the point I had gotten to. Basically, I saw no benefit in them.

But more and more, I am realizing that these mistakes and/or periods of misguided lifestyles and decision-making are prepping all of us for a much happier future. It sucks significantly that it takes years of trial and error to figure it all out, and I know I have many more mistakes to make, but I believe the end result will make for a happier ME.

Here are eight daft things I’ll hopefully never do again:

WAIT… FOR MY DEEPEST DESIRES TO JUST FALL INTO PLACE

It simply doesn’t happen. You don’t just end up in your own apartment, find yourself in a foreign country or cruise around town in the type of car you’ve always admired. You actually need to throw caution (and depressingly, some money) to the wind and make it happen.

EAT… A MCDONALD’S BEEF BURGER

The double quarter pounder used to be my go-to meal on the way home from a club. Then, suddenly, one day I realised it was revolting: this weird juice bursts out of it when you bite it, the cheese is an abnormally rich layer of yellow plastic and Jamie Oliver showed us how the thing is made.

(It also helps that most of the time, the thought of clubbing leaves me feeling bilious, eliminating the need for these late-night binges.)

WASTE… HOURS OF MY LIFE IN TRAFFIC

I genuinely feel like I’ve been a much happier, healthier person since I moved out of home, not because I’ve been stuffing my face with carrots and cauliflower, but because I no longer spend two hours of my day in a car. Yes, it can be very problematic or even impossible for a family to move to an area close enough to work, where traffic would be minimal. But if you can do it, don’t hesitate – your body and mind will be ever so grateful.

FORGET… TO BACK UP THE DATA ON MY LAPTOP

One would think I’d have learnt my lesson when my laptop crashed about four years ago. But it took a second crash for me to take the time out to back up my data.

It’s kind of sad that our emotions can be so immeasurably affected by a non-functioning, non-living concoction of plastic and metal, but that’s the way it is in 2014 and the best thing we can all do is prepare for the worst.

NEGLECT… MY HEALTH

I once read somewhere that “youth is wasted on the youth” and it’s equally true when it comes to the state of our bodies. There we are, at 19 or 20, snacking on fried chicken at 3am after a hard night of partying (i.e. drinking) – exercise only comes in the form of running to a lecture that we’re late for and getting enough sleep is way down on the list of priorities.

It’s profound to see the changed perspective when it comes to my health and those of my peers, now that 30 is within sight for us. But often, we’re a bit too late; years of neglect leaves many of us looking and feeling sluggish and with all kinds of health issues, like digestive disorders. These don’t occur by chance – they’re the result of youthful ignorance.

Today, I am two months into a type of fitness class that I would have scoffed at just a year ago, and I actually spend money on vegetables now.

I still have a long way to go before I can call myself ‘healthy’ with complete confidence, but I’ve started the process of enhanced consciousness and once you do, the improvements are easy to see and feel.

TRY… TO KEEP A DIARY

I always admire the people who walk around with their leather-bound diaries and Parker Pens, ready to jot down anything important whenever it’s required – it communicates organisation, class and authenticity.

But for someone that enjoys writing, I am completely incapable of keeping a diary. The first day always goes well… until I misplace my pen, forget the diary on the kitchen counter or keep it with me and forget that the thing exists in the first place.

I blame the digital world. Between emails, inbox messages, cell phone reminders and the fuzzy mental notes blowing around in my head, a diary is just too methodical.

ALLOW… MYSELF TO BE WALKED OVER BY LOUDER, BIGGER, BRASHER PEOPLE

I did this throughout school, pretty much. And why wouldn’t I? After all, standing up to people who took joy out of exploiting my smaller frame and milder demeanour would likely only have resulted in me being beaten up. What’s more maddening is that I continued to allow this to happen for some time after high school.

While I still wouldn’t initiate anything resembling a physical fight right now (who the hell has time for that, seriously?), the days of anyone speaking down to me are long gone. Unfortunately for them, I respect myself too much and know too much about the world to allow that to happen. Whether inside or outside of a professional environment, it’s unbelievably rewarding to find that fewer and fewer people are intimidating to me.

FORGET… TO TAKE THINGS ONE DAY AT A TIME

#1DayAtATime – it’s a little chant I carry around in my head with me every day as of a week or two ago. It’s given me strength and motivated me to do better. We simply can’t live in the future and obsess over what we need to do within a month or a year. That is a crazy, toxic way to live.

What we can and must do is make the most of each day. The reason we need sleep after about sixteen hours of waking up is because it is the natural cycle of our physical bodies – likewise, our minds can’t be expected to deal with the burdens of months of to-do lists. By all means, throw yourself into a new day 100%, but resist the temptation to group all your tasks as an encyclopaedia-sized list which must be conquered NOW! Guess what? You can’t finish that entire jar of Yum-Yum ultra creamy peanut butter by dumping it onto a single slice of bread. You will most certainly vomit. But, give yourself a few weeks, spread it all out a bit more evenly, and it will be done.

That’s about it for tonight’s tirade. Goodness knows how much longer this list is going to get in the future – but the longer it is, the easier the path to sustained happiness will be.

Down, Out and Grateful

It all always begins with a sore throat...

24 hours ago, I told myself I’d simply wake up and that scratchy feeling would be gone. It hadn’t, and 24 hours later, I’ve got a full-blown cold (sneezing fits, coughing fits that attempt to dislodge major internal organs, general malaise and the occasional need to fight back tears) - just make sure you call it a ‘cold’ and not ‘the flu’. The latter is apparently far more serious of a condition and I’ve previously been yelled at for dramatically promoting a regular cold to a flu.

We all need to get sick a certain number of times within a 36-month span. Not only are there precious sick leave days to make use of, but there’s also the more significant reminder that our greatest asset is our health, and when it is taken away from us, the effects are rather disconcerting.

Whenever I get a cold, I am reminded of previous times I’ve been ill and what a massive relief it was to recover. Back in the summer of 2000 (just days after I finished primary school), I developed the mumps. My siblings were still studying/working and my parents were also yet to go on leave, so I was left to fend for myself at home. These were some of the most miserable days of my life.

I vividly (or not so vividly…) remember lying on the couch, staring at a light switch on the wall, and trying to keep it in focus – unfortunately, my head was swimming to such an extent that this was impossible.

I also remember making a cup of tea in several stages on one of these days. Filling up the kettle required putting my head down for a few minutes, as did opening the cupboard to grab a cup, as did brewing a teabag. Then again, I’m not sure why I made tea in the first place because moving any part of my mouth resulted in the most unbearable pain. There was also the trip to the doctor for my diagnosis before I knew for sure what was wrong – my dad virtually carried me into and out of the waiting room.

Those three weeks of being ill with the mumps and recovering just in time for Christmas lunch (thank heavens) were certainly some of my worst, but close behind are the stomach bugs that followed a few years after that. Is there anything quite as debilitating than the feeling of your intestines being tied tightly together into the most impossible knot? Not really.

One night, after refusing to acknowledge that at some point I would have to throw up, I finally attempted the 3m walk to the bathroom. I didn’t make it, and the passage outside my bedroom quickly filled up with about a quarter of my total body weight.

Yet, there’s something distinctly humbling about being down and out for a couple of days or weeks. It’s a reminder to not take for granted the gift of our good health. It’s a reminder to care for our bodies. It’s the realisation that all the motivation and power of mind in the world can’t overcome the limitations of an incapacitated body.

I don’t think any of us has woken up on that first, beautiful morning following a cold/flu without a renewed vigour to take on the day, go for a run, or actually savour the pasta that had hours earlier tasted like cardboard.

I don’t think that day is going to be tomorrow for me, but when it comes, I’ll be sure to take advantage of and appreciate my greatest asset – my generally good health.

The ability to run up and down a flight of stairs.

The energy to sit at my desk for eight hours and work.

The strength to take care of myself and my home unaided.

So Universe, if I promise to be more grateful, more often throughout the year, can we skip this cold/flu thing as a means to very effectively prove your point? Please? Okay. Thanks.