The more things change, the
more they… change.
The price of petrol today has little in common with the price of
petrol when I was a student, except for the end result being the same – my car
keeps moving. The amount of lovely, liquid chocolate filling the Twice As Nice
‘sucker’ I enjoyed as a kid steadily decreased through the years, to the point
where said sucker became merely ‘nice’. And the search for that epic song that
I JUUUUST couldn’t get to the name of has become, well, barely a search. All I
really need to remember are two words in the lyric and – perhaps - the first
letter of the artist’s name and just like that, I’ll be able to instantly
identify and download the thing online.
Those are all some fairly non-destructive changes I've experienced in my lifetime.
But the subject of this little write-up and the specific change I
want to speak of is the compulsion we modern, trendy young professionals have
to constantly communicate to others that we are busy. Stressed out of our
minds. Inundated. Burning the midnight oil. I could go on, so familiar am I
with these expressions…
Are we really that busy, however? Or has the idea of being busy and
stretched to the limit come to be associated with success, virtually forcing
within and upon us a culture of chaotic pretence? I think it has.
Nobody really seems that interested in your small talk if all
they’re going to hear about is how your sister’s son is doing at school, which
beach you went to as soon as the Cape sun made an extraordinary appearance or
even how the renovations on your apartment are going. These all come across as
a pathetic little starter salad, complete with a browning piece of lettuce.
Nobody wants it. What they do want is the main course. That juicy piece of
sirloin you’re inevitably leading up to – it’s far weightier, drama-filled and also
likely to leave you exhausted and almost unable to walk. Much the same as work
stress, unread emails and overflowing schedules.
Of late, I’ve been curtailing my default responses to the ‘how are
you?’ question. My mission is for these responses to not always be saddled with
words such as busy, exhausted or pitted (as affectionately used by a few
friends). Too often, I’ve been witness to these descriptions escaping my mouth
when, actually, I’ve been quite okay. Things have been going well. I am in
control and in fact not in pursuit of
the nearest cliff face or shot of Tequila.
But very often, I’ve found the ‘I’m good, I’m okay’ space to be an
uncomfortable one, for myself and for others. Surely if we’re okay and fairly well-rested,
we’re not doing enough? And then, the paranoia kicks in. The moment I find
myself feeling fine, I question why I am not using the time to get ahead – to
hustle. To gain an edge over my
competitors, my colleagues and even the person I was a few months ago.
Where does this leave us? Well, I think we need to re-evaluate the
stress in our lives and pinpoint how much of it is real, and how much is a mere
fabrication. Beyond that, we need to go back to basics and become less reliant
on stress as a means of defining who we are. We need to revisit the true
meaning of stress.
It’s actually NOT a positive emotion. The dictionary defines stress
as ‘a state of emotional or mental strain’ so by us constantly and boldly
blurting out how stressed we are, we’re in fact admitting to whoever is listening
that there is some sort of imbalance in our professional or personal lives – or
both. Sure, a little bit of stress and anxiety helps to keep us on our toes,
but these are sentiments that most certainly do not deserve to be wielded about
like a trophy of competence.
Rather, we should be soaking up the periods of control, peace and
self-assurance we all reach (or are at right now, without even knowing it!).
Wouldn’t you rather complete seven tasks at 100% of your capacity than 17 in a
frenzied state? Wouldn’t THAT engender a greater sense of satisfaction? Chances
are, you’ll slip up less of the time and will actually have the capacity to
look back on what you have achieved.
Too often, we value people based upon how thinly they can spread
themselves between multiple tasks, rather than how much flavour and magic they
can add to a single function. We’re missing out on the details because we’re
chasing all that is mad, chaotic and consuming.
If I can leave you with one little morsel to chew on, it would be to
resist the urge to forge a mind and a body that is stressed and approaching its
limits. Think, really think, about
how you are before telling someone else. Keep it simple. Be calm.
And always leave some room for dessert.
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